Time to Tickle Your Funny Bones!
Yes, laughter is always the best medicines----though sometimes it could be the killer. I once heard my roommate breaking the news that her previous schoolmate's dad died after experiencing a great bliss. He technically had a heart attack after, well, laughing so hard when he knew that his son won in the SK election. This is honestly true----go ahead search it in your all-time favorite Google if you're not convinced.
Anyway, I always have this humorous bone in my body. I find myself so easy to laugh, even if the jokes are obviously corny. I honestly hate engaging in serious conversations and I always try to save them with some of the humors hidden at the back of my head. I used to memorize some of the jokes, thinking that these will come in handy in case I need to impress my friends, or sometimes my crush. And I dare say, those tactics were truly effective. Humor can actually do such wonders.
Here are a few jokes that I hope will get the bark, I mean the laugh, out of you.
Makabagong sagisag ng Pilipinas:
Pambansang Ibon: ANGRY BIRD
Pambansang Laro: DOTA
Pambansang Awit: KUNIN MO NA ANG LAHAT SA AKIN
Pambansang Sayaw: TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE
XD
Juan at the library: I want to borrow the book entitled "Psycho the Rapist."
The librarian searched for almost two hours then came back, slaps him and says,
"Idiot! The book's title is "Psychotherapist"!
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| Huh? Me? A muggle? Expelliarmus!!! |
Kapag madami ang hadlang sa landas na gusto mong tahakin...
Kapag lahat nakakabangga mo at kumokontra sa 'yo...
Huwag kang makulit...
EXIT yan... dun ka sa ENTRANCE.
Chillax...
PINOY HENYO
"Kutsilyo"
Juan: Bagay ba to?
Pedro: Oo
Juan: Nasa bahay?
Pedro: Oo!
Juan: Ginagamit sa kusina?
Pedro: Oo!!
Juan: Matalim ba to?
Pedro: Oo!!!
Juan: Pinaghihiwa ng sibuyas, kamatis, ganon?
Pedro: Oo!! Oo!!
Juan: Uhm... Uhm... Pass!
John: I've been seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Peter: Have you seen a doctor?
John: No, just spots.
[Loool]
Years ago, people who sacrifice their sleep, family, food, laughter and other joys of life were called saints.
But now they are called STUDENTS. :P
What happens when a lion roars thrice?
Think!
.
.
.
Any guess?
.
.
.
Ok, I will tell you..
.
.
.
Tom and Jerry cartoon begins!
Top 6 problems of students:
1. Allowance
2. Assignment
3. Exam
4. Grades
5. Professors and...
6. Paper!!!
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| Let's make life easier, shall we? |
Two terrorists having discussion in a bar...
The waiter asks them what the discussion was about.
Terrorist: We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..
Waiter: Why a donkey?
[Then one terrorist tells the other]
" See, I told you. Nobody will care about the 14 thousand people."
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| I guess I'll use Yahoo instead |
Isang gabi, may babaeng nasiraan ng kotse sa isang liblib na bayan.
Sa tapat ng sementeryo may puno ng balete.
May lumapit na matandang may binebentang isang libro sa halagang Dalawang libong piso
Namahalan siya pero napilitan syang bilhin ang libro dahil na rin sa takot
Sabi ng matanda, "Huwag mong titingnan ang huling pahina kundi magsisisi ka!"
Tapos nawala na ang matanda...
Umandar ang kotse. Sa bahay hindi siya makatulog, kinuha ang libro, at tiningnan ang huling pahina.
Nakasulat:
" NATIONAL BOOKSTORE Php39.50."
[In Bisayan Language]
JUAN: Pedro, sure ka mao ni ang lubnganan sa imong igsoon nga si Ramon?
PEDRO: Sure jud ko!
JUAN: Unsa imung ilhanan nga 10 ka tuig na man kaha nga wala kay bisita sa puntod?
PEDRO: Kani kay naa man gud R.I.P.
JUAN: Unsa man diay ng R.I.P.?
PEDRO: "Ramon Igsoong Pedro."
Yeah, dare to call them gay.
Boy: Kabalo ka, mura kag kabayo doh
Girl: Kay gusto ko nimo sakyan?
Boy: Dili
Girl: Kay paspas mubuto imung kasingkasing kung naa ko?
Boy: Dili pod
Girl: Unsa diay?
Boy: Wala lang, mura lang gud kag kabayo.
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| I 'll never wish to have a heart attack in Africa. |
