Sunday, March 24, 2013

Fated To Had Loved You

“There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.”
- John Lennon

Fate is funny. It has brought us to this reality, yet it unexpectedly makes its ways of teasing us onto dreams we've buried deep in our past.

I always find it mysterious. Now it's even wicked, specially for meddling into the sensitive feeling I used to believe as love.

It's been a year now since we parted ways. 12 months. So why can't I stop being a drama baby and get over it? Believe me, I always asked this same question everyday since. And I always get the same stabbing silence.

But as they say, every wound heals with time. Just as when I finally pulled myself together and face the reality that I would never see such face again, there he came by fate. I was healed from the heartache, but I wasn't sure that seeing his face will not open this scar again.

This playful fate has somehow detoured us from our usual path to meet and chat. Damn.

We exchanged casual greetings, asked about each other's lives. But I just couldn't deny the strange coldness in the air, the awkwardness of our smiles, the unfamiliarity of the voices.

This handsome man in front of me is just in most ways different from that chubby and vivacious kid I used to exchange long telephone calls with in the middle of the night. The kid who had bravely declared his love to me, a word he might not had really understand at those times. The same word that had somehow haunted me, bound me to the young giggly girl in the past.

I just missed that kid more and more as this man talked about his plans after graduation. A future life which clearly won't include me anymore.

Well, it seems that fate has let our paths intersect for a purpose afterall. It has allowed me to see that the kid is now just a part of my memory. That this man is different. That we're living on separate fields and walking towards different destinations. And that we're both contented, both happy. 

Fate doesn't want us to be together, but I am grateful for its little games.

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